areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
