It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
