Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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