The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
