He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
