omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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