She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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