No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
