Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
