she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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