Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
