Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
