I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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