I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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