Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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