Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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