Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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