To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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