he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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