he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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