Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
