Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
