I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
