ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
