Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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