She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
