I looked at my own cervix.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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