omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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