If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
