I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
