the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
