That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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