do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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