she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
