it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
