how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
