just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
