When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
