God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
