I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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