no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
