i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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