Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
