he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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