Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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