This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
