The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
