is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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