would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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