I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
