Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
